2008_10_09

Banff National Park in Alberta Canada is just beautiful!

(My) Ode to (My Cousin) Joy

                    
  I found out exactly a week ago that my cousin, Joy (Burton) Good had been diagnosed with cancer in her liver.  I found out Thursday evening that she had died on Tuesday, August 24.
   Joy had just celebrated her 60th birthday on August 5.  Her sister, Marcia, told me today that she had been ready to fight the cancer. She had a great attitude about it all. But then, it was Joy. She would have a great attitude. Friends, that is just the way she lived her life. She was truly a "Joy".
   Last September, I was happy to reconnect with these cousins on my Dad's side of the family, the five daughters and one son of my Aunt Jean and Uncle Jerry. Unfortunately, it was at the funeral/memorial service for Uncle Jerry.  Joy was the first one of the family to greet me. She was very upbeat, especially considering the circumstances. As Marcia said today, "None of us could have known that we would be together again today under similar circumstances." She told me that Joy had only been sick for about six weeks. She also said that the family was glad that she did not have to suffer a long, drawn out battle.
   Joy and Don had been married for 34 years. He said at the funeral today that the best gift that Joy had ever given him was being a part of this family. He said, "Jeanie, I love you," to my Aunt Jean. He expressed his appreciation to everyone for showing up today.
   I remember many visits with Aunt Jean and Uncle Jerry when they lived in Elwood and we lived in Tipton. The girls were almost all older than we were. It was a great arrangement, as far as I was concerned. I had a lot of prom dresses to choose from on an occasion where I needed a formal for a chorus concert that I was in. The girls were Beth, Marcia, Joy, Barb and Kelly.  Kelly was the closest to our age. I think she was just a little younger than me. Of course, Kelly is the one I remember the best. But Joy was still special. And she hasn't changed. I became even more aware today that she had lived up to her name. Joy. Her Mom said it best: "She was a joy!" She touched a lot of people in her daily life.
  I found out today that her favorite color was red. She wore it often, and accented it with white and black. We were provided with red, white and black ribbons to tie onto a plant in her memory. Don was going to take it home with him after the service.
   I just want to say, in memory of Joy, that life is relatively short. You aren't promised tomorrows. We all need to learn to cherish and appreciate each other more today. You never know what an impact you may have on friends and family. Love extravagantly. Spread the JOY!

In My Own Defense

After re-reading my last post, I realized that some might wonder "Why are they taking a trip to Bloomington when they are destitute?" Or maybe, "Why are they going on this canoe trip?" Does it seem irresponsible to you that we are doing these things, because I mentioned that we are living at "poverty level"? Let me hasten to add, then, that we have had other back up resources that we have been using these past two years. And the trip was made upon Jay's recent loss of job, when we did still have another pay check coming from that. We only bought food out twice on the trip, and we did not have to pay for a hotel since we slept on Andy's apartment floor. Our biggest pay out, then was for the tank of gas to get down and back, and, in my opinion, it was well worth the expense. The canoe trip may seem like a splurge, but please read the rest of this post.

I attended a mini-seminar last year where the keynote speaker talked about poverty. She explained that you will see people on all kinds of Government programs spend money on what you might consider frivolous items and want to judge them because they could have paid bills with that money, but they went to a movie instead, or they bought something you wouldn't buy if you were in their shoes.  She explained that we should not judge these people, because we don't really know their circumstances. Sometimes, the thinking is something like this: "I can't pay all my bills with what little I get. I have worked so hard for so long, but I still can't pay all the bills. I deserve to splurge and use some of this money for what I want sometimes." Or maybe someone gave them some money for a birthday or other such occasion and said, "Please use this money to have some fun for a change. Or buy something special for yourself."

Whatever the case may be, I agree with this; we should not judge others when we don't really know their circumstances.

I do not believe in just throwing money away that we don't have. We have cut our spending way down. We rarely eat out anymore. I have been packing my own lunches. Most weeks we can get by on about $30 worth of groceries, especially here in the summer when we can eat from garden produce we get from friends for free. Both of us are probably a lot healthier because we ride our bikes or walk into town when we need something that we can get close by. We don't have cable tv, though we do both have cell phones. Anyway, the point is, we know how to be frugal and feel that we can allow ourselves some expenditures that would seem to others like we are being frivolous. We see a lot of live theater shows in the area because we usher or box office and in return, we see the shows for free. We should not cease to do things simply because we lack money. There are other ways to have fun if you are willing to find the ways around spending too much money.

We love all our friends and family and need your encouragement through this time. Please don't judge us?

What's New?

So, What's new with you? Do people ever ask you that? Sure they do! If you ask me that right now, I am probably not going to come back with the most optimistic, make you feel good answer.  I could say that I recently took a couple of days off of work, (paid vacation days, God bless them!). Jay and Tricia and I went down to Bloomington and spent a little time with Andy. It is always good for my spirits to see my kids, even if it's only two of them; and I absolutely love Bloomington, Indiana. The only down side of that is that, when I originally planned the trip, it was just going to be me and maybe Tricia going down. Jay was supposed to be working, still. But he lost that job at Jayco after only three short weeks. Same problem as before, he works too slow. He is so meticulous about what he does, he just can't get used to slapping something together the way the RV places want him to.  So, I am trying to maintain a good attitude folks, but it isn't working too well.

I'm now thinking that we will probably have to give up our nice place in Middlebury where we are currently renting. I'm also thinking it would be wiser and save gas and also money if we lived closer to my job in Elkhart. These are hard choices. I detest the idea of living in Elkhart. (No offense to those of you who live there. I am just thinking that the places in Elkhart where we could find something to rent on my paycheck alone are not going to be nice neighborhoods.) I did find an apartment to rent in a pretty decent neighborhood near the hospital yesterday. It's a one bedroom with utilities included in the price of rent. It is an upstairs apartment though. We aren't getting any younger, and the thought of moving furniture into an upstairs apartment makes me shudder. Plus, we still have so much stuff...I guess we just need to purge. A lot of this stuff isn't even garage sale worthy. Why are we keeping it?!

I am very unhappy about all of this, but I am willing to face the harsh realities. I was really hoping that we could get things turned around, and that Jay would have finally found a job he could hang onto by now. It has been two years since we sold his cabinet shop. He has not held a job for longer than three weeks since. I am so weary of all of the waiting and wondering. (Christian persons, please do not quote scriptures to me. I am sort of mad at God right now, and I don't want to hear it. Remember, I went to Bible College for two years, and I KNOW the Bible. Jay says "We need to just trust the Lord." Ok, where is He and why doesn't He do something?!)

Please just excuse me for venting, a little bit here. I know there are a lot of people in worse shape than we are. I mean, not just people in Haiti and Pakistan, but right here, in Indiana. I should be thankful, and I really am, that I have a good job. I am thankful, too, that we were able to sell the cabinet shop and our home on CR 35, and didn't just lose them because we couldn't pay the mortgage and so forth. But I am beginning to wonder if we are going to end up homeless. I found out the other day, when I was filing for deferrment, again, on my student loans, that we are actually at poverty level. That's fun.

You might be shocked that I would actually share that. But, hey, my life has always been an open book. I don't care if you know that. I'm not hiding anything.

So, I guess that's what's new with me. And that's enough, for now.

Christine's Incident

Christine Schaubert: Front right.

I heard over the weekend that Christine had been helping someone with a horse, and they were a little sketchy on the details, but said she would not be able to walk for a year and that she had had three surgeries by the weekend. I was reluctant to call Christine's mom, Sharon, for fear of stirring her from what may be the only rest she was getting. But last night (July 29), I decided to try to call Christine's sister, Bethany. When that number that we had rang through as not in service, I broke down and called Sharon. Even though I got the details from her, I am still a little sketchy myself, but this is what Sharon told me.

Christine was out in Central Park in Elkhart with Black, which is the horse that belongs to Liz Borger Pletcher that Christine used to have in 4-H Saddle club several years ago. Liz was wanting her horse to be in the Musical "Oklahoma". But Black has been out of circulation for a few years due to health problems. Chris took Black off for a ride to get him used to the park. The horse got kind of jumpy and was upset. She was riding him down an incline and he started "crow jumping." He was not bucking, but Christine decided she needed to get down on the ground and calm him. She went to jump off, but she landed wrong.  Sharon said the impact of the way she landed broke two bones in her right leg. The Fibula shot through the skin and out through her blue jeans. The Tibia was shattered, somehow tearing through the skin and into the ground underneath.

Doctors were able to repair the Fibula. The Tibia is in very bad shape. The most recent surgery they did yesterday was to start grafting bone. There were just shards of bone in the Tibia to work with. Sharon said they have told her there will be many more surgeries. Christine will probably be "walking" with a walker and crutches. Sharon said they have told her it will be a year plus other recovery time before she will walk unaided.

Sharon has her hands full taking care of her 91 year old mother with Alzheimers at home. Now she will have two to care for. They told her yesterday that Chris might be able to go home today. (July 30). But Sharon said she was going to appeal to the Doctor to give her the weekend so that Chris might be further along in her recovery before sending her home.

If you know the family, you know what they have been through. Please keep them in your prayers.

Edit Adding
I saw Christine today at the Hospital. She looks great! Her attitude is superb. She was dressed in a polo shirt and shorts, no hospital gown for her today. She looks like a little athlete. She was cheerful and she joked with me when I came in, "So, I guess I have to break a leg to see some people I haven't seen for a while." Sharon is still hoping she won't go home until Monday. When I first got there, there was a Therapist there, I believe she was an Occupational Therapist, and she was going over some of the tips to help Christine manage when she goes home. Christine was saying, "Oh I'm so thankful for this information." I didn't get to stay long, but long enough for Christine to clear some of things up for me that were muddled. I promised to come visit her again when she gets home.

That's How It Is

Now that Jay is employed again, you would think that I could calm down and concentrate on other things. At least, I should be able to be content. But the last time he had the job he thought he wanted, back in December, he lost it after one week. He was so devastated, he came home and went to bed. I had a heck of a time getting him out of bed to go to a show we had to do that night. (We were in "Sander's Family Christmas" at the time.)

I was reminded yesterday that Jay is on this job for the first three weeks on probation. This next week is the critical week. The thing you must do at an RV factory is work quickly and efficiently.  He is telling me that they have already told him a couple of times that he has to build his drawers faster. He is now working as fast as he can, trying to keep ahead of the others there. He says he is working faster than he used to work when he was working for himself and thought he was working fast. In other words, according to him, he is working as fast as he can. If he gets fired this time, I don't know what it will do to him. He really wants to keep this job.

I believe in the power of prayer, but I also believe in the power of positive thinking. I told him that if he exudes confidence, it will be easier for me to be confident. It will also be easier for his employer to have confidence in him if he seems confident. Right now, he just seems scared. I don't blame him for being scared. He has been mostly out of work for two years. But you have to start somewhere.

If you think of him this week, and if you pray, go ahead and pray for him. If you don't pray, thanks for thinking of him, try to keep it positive. Jay worked for all the 30 years before he sold his shop. He worked hard and long hours. We raised our kids on his income alone, and, while sometimes we didn't have excess, we always had enough to pay bills and meet the needs of our family. He built beautiful cabinets for people. When the building business dried up and he wasn't building so many cabinets, he had a production job that kept him busy until the manufacturer replaced some of his product line with a plastic product. He isn't ready to retire yet.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude too. It is difficult, you know, because I am a pessimist by nature. See, even my blood type is B negative! I always think of the worse case scenario and hope that it doesn't happen. It's so easy to "be negative".  I would like to be more positive. My hero, Randy Pausch, in his book, "The Last Lecture" challenged me (us) to be a "Tigger" and not an "Eeyore". I really need to get a big picture of Tigger and put it up here in my office at home. And I need one to put up in the office at work, too. It will remind me that I have to choose to be upbeat and positive like Tigger, rather than gloomy like Eeyore. I think that's how it is, you have to make a conscience effort to choose to be positive. That's how it is, anyway, if you are me!

Restaurant Review: Niles, Michigan

We had occasion to eat at two Niles, Michigan restaurants and found both worthy of commmentary. So here goes.

On July 4th, we were heading back from being at Warren Dunes State Park. We decided we would stop in Niles instead of waiting to get all the way to South Bend.  We really just wanted something that was open since it was Sunday and 4th of July to boot! We stopped at a little place called "The Nugget." I feel like it was a real find! The service was excellent. The waiter was very attentive to our needs, yet not too yackety. (You know what I mean? Have you ever had a wait staff that you felt like wanted to be your long lost relative by the time the meal was over? Yes, and all you wanted was for them to just shut up so you could enjoy your dinner?) Just by way of contrast, we had recently tried a newer restaurant in Goshen and within 10 minutes of being there, the waitress had Jay so thoroughly annoyed I thought we were going to have to leave.  I will save that for another post, though. And only if you tell me you want to know.

The food at the Nugget was very good. The waiter brought out my soup-of-the-day, homemade chicken dumpling soup. As he handed it to me, he said, "I made that fresh this morning." I was getting ready for the requisite chuckle and the "yeah, right". But I looked at his face and saw he was serious. So I stifled. That soup was tremendous. I could have made a meal of the soup alone. Big chunky vegetables in a hearty broth with just the right amount of dumplings. Jay had chosen the salad, which was not as commendable as the soup. (Neither of us are real fans of iceberg lettuce based salad. More on this later.)

Jay had asked about the special of the day, which was a batter fried fish. But the waiter thought Jay might enjoy the cajun tilapia, which turned out to be a great choice. It was lightly hand breaded with cajun seasonings and was broiled rather than fried. I had grilled shrimp, and it was very impressive. Nice and moist, cooked just right and contained a lemon pepper seasoning. I am drooling just thinking about it. We were too full for dessert. Seems like we always are.

The second place we stopped in Niles was on the occasion of our 32 anniversary. While we were eating at the Nugget, we were reading our placemats there, which were cleverly put together by the Chamber of Commerce, I believe. It featured other businesses and restaurants to try in the area. This lead us to our discovery of the Riverfront Cafe. We had seen it on our way into town, but I was in the wrong lane to turn off the main drag to get there, and we didn't want to go back in case it was closed.

Maybe we should have taken the warning from the hostess that the air conditioner was on the blink. It was getting to be evening, though, by the time we got there. I didn't think it would be too uncomfortable, even though it had been pretty hot all day.

We were impressed by the brick interior walls and all the wood trim. It was the kind of restaurant you can dress up a little to go, or come in from a day of shopping and still feel comfortable.  The table we sat at had bench seats, you can see us in the picture at the beginning of the blog.

The food was all very good and prices reasonable. I had a chicken portabella with marsala sauce accompanied by garlic mashed potatoes. Jay had a prime rib dinner with baby red roasted potatoes. Before they brought that out to us, though, we had our dinner salads. The salads were of fresh baby greens with crumbled blue cheese and spicy slivered almonds and dried cranberries. I had the house dressing which was a balsamic vinaigrette, Jay had blue cheese. (Or bleu cheese, if you prefer). I ate every bite of it! You may not believe me when I tell you, because I, like my daughter, love bread; but the least desirable item we were served was the cranberry apple walnut bread that accompanied the meal. I guess since I was expecting a nut bread, and it was clearly a yeast bread base, I was a little put off by it. But it doesn't matter. I was very satisfied with the rest of the meal. In fact I was so stuffed that I had to refuse even to split the cute little $2.00 desserts the waitress brought by after we had finished the meal. These  were mostly of the cheesecake and mousse variety. They looked splendid! So if you go, be hungry!

The really sad part is that by the time the desserts came, Jay had just about all he could handle of the problem with the air conditioner not working there. The restaurant does have outdoor patio dining, and we could have chosen that. It is very rarely that I like eating on the patio anywhere. I don't like bugs. But there were a couple of flies in the restaurant, too, so...(By the way, I killed those two flies with a rolled up magazine I had picked up in the lobby while we were waiting to be seated.) Hopefully, the air conditioning problem has been fixed.

If you are going through Niles, I could recommend either one of these restaurants. Hope you enjoy your time there!